final thoughts (xc08)

I don't really know what to think about this season. I ran faster and more consistently compared to last year, yet I came away from almost every race much unhappier. Strangely enough I also felt less in shape this year than last, although my times say otherwise. I ran 5:27 for the first mile of almost every single race this year; it seems fast but I didn't think it was out of reach for me to hold that for all 5 miles. Maybe it still isn't out of reach but I will probably have to reevaluate my goals for the rest of my time here. There are hundreds of "could haves" or "should haves" flying through my head. I should have run more over the summer. I shouldn't have dropped my training like I did. I could have gone faster in workouts. I should have gone faster in workouts. Normally XC is the "good" season -- and this worries me. I've had a few bad track seasons, but I could handle them and weren't nearly as unhappy with them. I've only improved by a very marginal 22 seconds from last year (comparing PRs); in high school I dropped from a 19:02 (first 5k) to 17:44 junior year, and then from that 17:44 to 17:06 senior year. This is off of really low mileage and nowhere near good coaching as I receive here. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.